


we ended up perforated, i was just a kid (tell me if it's something that i did)

by potentiallythiswillbegay



Series: you say i turned out fine, i think i'm still turning out [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Child Neglect, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Pre-Canon, Reggie Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), also not explicitly stated yet but none of the band is straight, i think at least... with a continuation of happiness, implied but not explicit child abuse, it's the 90s baybey and hey the boys are hurting LETS EXPLORE THAT, its a lot of reggie being sad and unhappy at home but loving his band and found family, no beta we die like the phantoms, reggie has an older sister because i said he could
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiallythiswillbegay/pseuds/potentiallythiswillbegay
Summary: Reggie remembered being six years old, simpler days in a house where music always lived, sitting by his mother's side at the piano, smiling at her warm, loving eyes and fearing nothing in the world. He remembered laughing and sitting at the same bench side-by-side with his sister as they all laughed and their mother took photos, their father smiling warmly from the doorway. A happy nuclear family, full of love.Reggie hadn't seen those loving faces in years.---------Reggie realises his family doesn't have to be blood, noise can hold so much love and warmth, and memories mean exactly what you let them mean.Or, Reggie in the 90s.
Relationships: Alex & Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: you say i turned out fine, i think i'm still turning out [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001766
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	we ended up perforated, i was just a kid (tell me if it's something that i did)

**Author's Note:**

> title from unspoken history by alex lahey, which is just beautiful song. this came entirely from realising that reggie played the piano during the bridge in bright, me getting very emotional over it and then him (emotional support character, much), and throwing this out in basically one night when i should've been writing an essay.  
> it's 1am and i wasn't bothered to american-ise the grammar so... excuse the australian, i guess.  
> please note the rating due to very minimal swearing, and implied abuse.

Reggie remembered being six years old, simpler days in a house where music always lived, watching restlessly from the couch as his mother taught his sister how to play the piano that sat shining in the middle of their living room, music surrounding him. He remembered the loving smile his mother gave him when he ran to fill the space next to her the minute his sister stood up, small hands hovering cautiously over piano keys as wide green eyes looked up to meet kind matching ones.

Reggie remembered sitting by his mother's side at the piano, smiling at her warm, loving eyes and fearing nothing in the world. He remembered laughing and sitting at the same bench side-by-side with his sister as they all laughed and their mother took photos, their father smiling warmly from the doorway. A happy nuclear family, full of love.

Then their father started coming home from work later, missing moments of smiles around the piano. Their mother became too tired to play with him, a weak smile still on her face when piano notes floated into the kitchen from a boy alone. His sister, too busy with school, friends and a life separate from him to slide onto the stool and poke his sides until they crashed into the keys and made a ruckus that produced amused sighs from their parents.

Reggie continued to play the piano despite the room being silent, notes and chords filling an emptier house almost every night, then maybe once a week as the silence grew more familiar than warm eyes and smiles grew rarer, until the piano had months of dust collected on its lid and almost every door in the house had new scratches from being slammed too many times.

Reggie would walk past it every day, fingers twitching in his hoodie pockets to play again, but he never would. He fiddled with pencils underneath school desks, played songs on his leg where no one - especially not teachers who would scold him for being disruptive - could see or hear him.

He ended up picking up the bass on the school’s rarely in-tune bass guitar when he was twelve, in a rehearsal room with a scratched drum kit and equally out of tune electric guitar, laughing easily with his two best friends as they all winced at bad notes and bickered over who made a mistake first.

Playing bass was the perfect substitute for the way his fingers itched to play the piano again, the strings stinging his fingers until he adjusted to them, keeping his fingers moving, keeping the buzzing in his brain low. It was easy, and it was easy to lose himself in a song Luke was trying to write rather than worry over where his family was going.

* * *

Reggie, at fourteen years old with Luke, Alex and now Bobby, agreed to the words of their twelve-year-old selves and started a rock band with half a notebook of terrible handwriting but brilliant song ideas, and four grins equally motivated and confident in reaching eventual success.

He finally owned his own bass, after saving up over two years of birthdays and holidays. His mother smiled when she found out, and he had to stop himself from crying in front of her when she told him she was glad he still liked music, as if it didn’t represent how much of her he had lost.

“We’re creating good stuff, boys.” Luke often said when they rehearsed, more often than not followed by him quickly dodging Bobby trying to ruffle his hair.

Playing music with the boys was something to keep his fingers busy, to keep his brain occupied, and to give him people to love outside of his own house.

His own house, where a moment of silence was now more welcome than the noise because the noise was always screaming and yelling, rather than laughter and piano. Noise in his house was becoming scarily familiar, almost a pattern as they followed week after week rather than a few times a month, and was exactly why the beautiful noise of the band was kept separate.

Reggie knew how to recognise sounds in his house. The slamming of the kitchen cupboards, the echo of boots on the roles of the entryway, the creak on the floorboards directly outside of his bedroom.

When he was six, the creak of floorboards was often followed by a pair of loving parents coming in to kiss him goodnight, his father tickling him and his mother kissing his piano fingers, and they would leave hand-in-hand.

At fourteen, a long creak meant his father was pausing to take a sip from the drink in his hand, before commencing in a screaming match or leaving the house. Reggie didn’t see much of his father anymore, staying in his room when he arrived home from work, and leaving early in the morning before he awoke from his drunken stupor.

At fourteen, a shorter creak and a pause were followed by a soft knock on his door, where his mother’s sad eyes would appear and try to ask him about his day, which he gave nothing but short clipped answers to. She didn’t need to realise that at twelve, he recognised when his achievements and failure were used as ammunition in the screaming battles, by his father, mother and sister alike.

Sitting in his room the week after they agreed to form their currently-unnamed band, Reggie buried his head under a pillow when the high pitched yells of his mother and sister reached his room. The silence that came an hour later was welcome until a quick knock on his door followed. 

His sister, Alice, came into his room without waiting for a response, and neither one mentioned the way one of her cheeks was a brighter red than the other or the eyeliner that had run with tears she haphazardly wiped away.

“I’m moving out,” Alice said quickly before Reggie could say a word. “I’m graduating high school in two weeks, then I’m staying with a friend until college starts, and then I’m out of the state.”

“Yo-You’re leaving?” He asked first, and Alice’s eyes softened.

“I’m saving myself, Reggie. I have to. You hear how I scream at her, how Dad gets with her too. I can’t deal with it any longer.”

“You’re leaving me?” He hated the tremor in his voice, but Alice moved forward and took his hands in hers.

“I’m getting out so I don’t make it worse. You’re still good to them, and you’ll be okay. You’re still friends with those boys, right?” 

“We’re a band.” He said as an answer.

Alice was surprised by that, but her small smile stopped his worry on that front. “That’s good. I’m really glad you have them, boo.” The sound of his childhood nickname from her lips caused tears to well up in his eyes, not unnoticed by her.

“Hey.” She pulled him into a hug, and it took all Reggie’s willpower to not break down there and then. “Even though I’m going, I’ll talk to you. I’ll call, yeah? You’re still my favourite.”

He nodded and said nothing else, and watched two weeks later as she left in her friend’s car, their mother turning her yells of blame to where his father sat with a drink in hand in the kitchen. Reggie bit his tongue and left to his room, humming to himself as he waited for the screaming to stop.

* * *

No one brought up Alice’s absence until a month after she had moved out.

“Hey, how’s Alice been since graduation? I haven’t seen much of her.” Luke said, on an afternoon where Bobby had a family dinner and Alex was on his way to join them at Luke’s house to hang out before the four started high school. Reggie was taken aback by the question, eyes widening and breath catching in his throat. Luke noticed almost immediately, the four of them being so attuned to each other, and his hands were covering Reggie’s in a second as worried eyes met his as Luke waited for him to speak.

“She, uh, moved out. She’s gone.”

Luke’s brow furrowed. “She didn’t even wait until college started?”

Reggie shrugged. “She wanted to go early.”

Luke knew there was something he wasn’t telling him, something to do with the reason he had rarely been over to Reggie’s house, and had only met his parents at school events they had run into each other at. More importantly, he knew Reggie. “Reg?”

“Yeah?”

“Are things okay at home?” Reggie’s eyes widened, before dropping to their hands, and the silence was enough of an answer for Luke to pull Reggie into a hug, letting him feel whatever love he was missing from his parents.

When Alex opened the door carefully a minute later, Luke’s parents having let him in, it took one look at the scene before him for Alex to close the door and seat himself behind Reggie, wrapping his arms around him and wincing at the harsh sob he let out.

They always had each other's back. When Reggie told Alex and Luke, and later Bobby, about the fights he hid from in his room, and the reasons his sister left so quickly, he knew they were his family. That night, they stayed up late into the night, all getting delirious from lack of sleep, and all four of them laughed as Reggie took Luke’s guitar and began making up a song on the spot.

“Can you, can you hear me?” He sang, grinning at Alex as the latter boy lounged on the floor at his feet.

“Loud and clear,” Alex responded with a soft smile up at him.

“We gotta get, gotta get ready.” He frowned as his fingers slipped on the frets, as Luke shook his head with a smile, giving up on trying to steal his guitar back.

“Cause it’s been years.” Luke drawled, exaggerating on the previous week he had been grounded and unable to attend rehearsals.

“Woah, this band is back.” Reggie grinned and looked at his best friends, coming together at a stupid song he was making up on the spot, Luke and Alex joining in with harmonies as Bobby fell out of his seat laughing. 

“Woah, this band is back.” They sang, Bobby joining in the line after, “Woo-hoo, woo-hoo!” The song dissolved as all four burst into laughter, Luke pulling Alex up and spinning him around the room.

They were four young teenage best friends starting high school in the fall, and refused to lose each other in the chaos that was sure to follow in the next few years.

* * *

Sunset Curve - the band name that had taken them almost a year to agree on - was an escape and family from the fights. Reggie sometimes thought about leaving, as his sister had, but his mind caught on the loving and warm smiles of his parents from his childhood when things were good, and believed the small hope in his heart that things would get better. He ignored the hurt of being ignored, of his parents' misguided belief that a closed door protected their son from every ugly word and echoing sound from every fight, and put everything he felt into playing the bass and seeing his bandmates smile at what they were creating.

His sister never called him, never sent a word save for a single letter sent to the house that his mother had intercepted and left at his bedroom door with a cigarette burn over the return address on the envelope.

On evenings where things were quiet and calm, he’d come into the empty kitchen and make dinner for himself and his parents, and the three of them would sit at the table together and make conversation. Not quite a family, but enough to fuel a belief that everything was fine. Silence was becoming more familiar in the house, and the small flicker of hope in Reggie’s chest stayed warm until he realised the only reason was how much more often his parents were out of the house.

He held onto the belief that things could change, because at least he had the memory of his sister’s sad smile at their farewell, the way she caressed his cheek and called him strong before getting in a car and leaving. Even as his parents now began fighting before he could even leave the room, as his father spent whole nights away from home, as his mother acted even more like a stranger, until he only started finding familiarity in the shards of broken glasses swept messily into corners.

He hid in his room for the fights, which were now happening multiple times a week, save for the nights it got too much and he snuck out to walk along the beach until he felt he could breathe again. His fingers would play piano melodies onto his leg or into his pocket as he walked, and he pretended to himself that he didn’t recognise them, before he inevitably returned to a room that had always been dubbed his but now felt less his own than the studio with his band.

“If it ever gets bad… you can always come over to mine.” Luke promised him after a particularly bad night that had caused him to get to school late, “Alex and Bobby as well, we all want to help if we can.”

Reggie smiled softly, overcome with love for his best friends, “Thanks, man.” Luke grinned and bumped their shoulders together, and Reggie was all the more grateful for how the other boy didn’t mention the tears building in his eyes as they made their way to class. Later that day, the two other boys confirmed what Luke had said, and Reggie hid his overly-sentimental grin in half of Bobby’s sandwich.

He spent only a few nights with his friends over the months of that year, sleepovers at one house or the other more frequent throughout their summer break. Once they bought a couch for the studio, there were a few warmer nights spent lounged around to avoid any parents seeing them with alcohol they shouldn’t be anywhere near. Once September came around, Reggie dreaded the return to nights at home with no escape, but spent few nights actually escaping, usually with notice if he felt the day would bring particularly sour moods to one or both of his parents, until one night took him by surprise, and he found himself outside Luke’s window late one night. He could see through the curtains that the room was mostly dark, only a single dim light in the darkness - probably Luke’s desk lamp, if he was trying to write songs.

After a moment of hesitation, Reggie knocked gently against the window and held his breath before Luke’s confused face appeared, quickly breaking into a soft smile as he opened the window enough for Reggie to come through.

“Bad?” Luke said the second Reggie landed in his room, arms coming up to hug him.

“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t ask, I just…” Reggie breathed out into Luke’s bare shoulder, guilt gently gnawing at his chest until Luke shook his head.

“Like I said, you’re welcome here.” 

Reggie smiled again, and his attention was caught by Luke’s notebook on the desk. “Writing?”

Reggie glimpsed only a few words, between the distance and Luke’s terrible handwriting - ‘risk’ ‘close my eyes’ ‘together i think’ - before Luke moved quickly and snatched up the book before Reggie could read anything more.

“Uh, yeah.” SIlence fell quickly as Luke kept the book against his chest, until he broke it again. “Sorry, I just… want to work this one out a bit more before I show it. There’s this other one, though…” He flicked through pages, and turned to show Reggie the beginnings of a song, Luke’s scrawl at the top of the page dubbing it ‘Now or Never’.

“This is really good.” Reggie said after a few moments, having read just the first chorus.

“Yeah?” Luke’s smile was warm, as he put the notebook back down and crossed his room to where his acoustic guitar leant against the bed, “Cause I was thinking - obviously I can’t do it with just this on my own - but it could really show people what Sunset Curve is about, and how we’re gonna make it. We're working so hard for it, we gotta share this with people.”

“Definitely.”

“Okay, so I was thinking it could start with guitar, I can show that better with Bobby, but for the chorus...” Reggie watched as he furrowed his brows and began playing simple chords, singing on top of them in a voice much quieter than usual in rehearsals. “Don’t look down, cause we’re still rising up right now. And even if we h-” Luke cut off immediately with wide eyes as a creak came from the hallway outside his bedroom door.

“Luke?” Reggie whispered, as Luke shushed him and quickly shoved him into the corner.

“Please, just… stay quiet.” Luke whispered, eyes apologetic but movements frantic as he dropped the guitar and slammed the notebook closed.

After the faintest knock, Luke’s bedroom door opened quickly and Reggie held his breath.

“Luke, it’s nearly midnight, and it’s a school night.” Emily Patterson, always nice to Reggie and their band, but Reggie had heard enough about the lack of time she had for Luke being in the band.

“Yeah, I was getting there.” Luke’s words came out frustrated, but tired all the same, like this wasn’t the first time either of them were saying these words.

Emily sounded tired, when she spoke again after a second, “I told you, you need to be focused on school not this music stuff. Some things are more important than your hobbies.” 

Reggie could see, even from his limited view, Luke’s anger grew. “Yeah. I heard you. And _I_ told _you_ , this isn’t some hobby, this is what I’m good at, what I’m gonna do.”

Another pause, and Reggie waited to hear yells that didn’t come, instead a quiet: “Go to bed, Luke.”

“Fine.” Luke closed the door quickly before his mother could, letting out a harsh sigh before looking at Reggie with apologetic eyes. “Sorry. She’s been on my case, I thought she was in bed already.”

“Is everything… okay?” Reggie knew that Luke could see exactly what he wasn’t saying, and Luke’s second sigh confirmed his suspicions.

“Just… a lot of yelling. School’s barely started for the year, and she’s already so nagging over me focusing and all that bullshit.”

Reggie frowned, but Luke wasn’t having any of it. “No, nope. You’re here to escape your shitty home, not worry about mine.”

They ended up huddled on Luke’s small bed, Reggie against the wall and Luke trying not to fall off the edge onto the floor, whispering about everything and nothing, making each other hide their laughter as the clock moved well past anyone else around being remotely awake.

“Hey, Reggie?”

“Yeah?”

“You believe in our music, right?”

“Dude, of course I do. Your writing is incredible, and I love our sound.” 

“...Thanks.”

“What’s in your mind?”

“I mean it, when I say I think this can connect us to other people. We could reach so many people, and be exactly like the bands we look up to so much.” Luke’s voice was still soft, but Reggie recognised every bit of passion behind it.

“We’ll make it.”

“We have to. I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t.” Luke’s voice cracked slightly, and Reggie didn’t hesitate before grabbing the boy’s hands.

“Luke, we will. We’ll keep working for it, and we will.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Loving his best friends never took effort, and they were always there for him, too.

But on particularly rough nights, staring at the ceiling of his own bedroom or watching the rhythm of receding waves, he would wonder what his parents would be like without him. Would they be happier? Would they stop fighting? Would they find freedom, not feeling forced to stay married so unhappily without a son left behind? Would his sister come back and visit them, find some way to forgive or even just talk to them? Would they even be sorry?

When Luke ran away from his parents a few months later, and Alex’s coming out to his family went disastrously not long after, and they both ended up mostly moved into the studio, Reggie’s thoughts spiralled deeper, and he dreaded being alone and abandoned.

Would his parents even miss him if he was gone?

On an April night, sitting around the studio with Alex and Luke as Reggie's sixteenth birthday ran it's last few minutes, Reggie had too much of whatever alcohol they had snuck and ended up confessing his darkest worries to the two boys, whose concern bled out into the room until the three were in tears in each others' arms, every bit the family they deserved instead of their own.

* * *

When Sunset Curve managed to book a not only a gig but a summer tour of Los Angeles kicking off at the Orpheum, from years of building connections, calling favours, playing everywhere they could, it felt like something good owed to them. Each of the four wanted the most success for their band, and each sought to prove themselves to their families by succeeding in all the ways they were doubted. 

Luke and Bobby had arrived bright-eyed one day after school with the news, Luke's more-frantic-than-usual bouncing concerning them until Bobby finally got the words out. The four all shed at least one tear as they hugged each other and yelled for almost ten minutes until Alex's anxiety kicked in with the anxiety about planning, and they got to work preparing for the most important show of their lives.

Reggie kept his head down more than usual as the weeks flew past and July 22nd grew closer, telling himself that his parents might be civil in the same room for once when he came home from their performance and told them what he had achieved.

He wasn’t even sure they knew he was in a band.

Throughout all the years of knowing what his family were like, Reggie prided himself on still being able to make people smile. Whether it was telling a stupid joke to Bobby in the middle of class, pulling faces across the rehearsal space in the studio at Luke, or anything that elicited an exhausted sigh and begrudging smile from Alex, Reggie was able to bring joy into people’s day.

That didn’t mean he could make his parents any happier.

* * *

Two weeks before the Orpheum performance, Reggie entered the studio to find his bandmates crowded around a grand piano, something that was most definitely not there previously.

“Where’d that come from?” He asked, catching their attention.

Bobby ran his hand across it as he spoke. “My uncle was moving house and didn’t want to take it, so he asked if we wanted it.”

“How the hell did you get a grand piano down here?” Reggie tilted his head in confusion but was only met with a laugh from Luke as Alex walked over to throw his arm over his shoulder.

“I have no idea how they did it. Bobby won’t tell me.” Alex said.

Reggie’s eyes went wide, and he turned to him. “Witches.” That caused Alex to sigh and shove him lightly, but he was smiling by the time Reggie caught his balance.

“I mean, it’s nice having a piano, but we don’t really use it. Do any of us really play?” Luke was saying, guitar in his hands.

“Reg, you know piano, right?” Bobby asked, and Reggie held back his initial wince at the question.

“I used to when I was like, six. I haven’t played in years.” Three pleading faces turned to him, and he sighed. “Really, I haven’t even touched a piano since I was eleven.”

An hour later, he was sat at the both unfamiliar and too familiar piano, playing an old rock song he barely knew the name of that his mother taught him years ago, Luke sliding in beside him and trying to pick it up as all four of them laughed and sang along.

The piano wasn’t always a bad memory.

From then, when they were writing it was as easy as breathing for Reggie to pick up a bass and play in time with the boys, but sometimes he’d cross over to the piano and play out a melody he thought would work for Luke, or a progression for Bobby, and he’d get so caught up that he’d miss the fond looks his family would send him.

That night, he returned home feeling lighter than he had in a while, even as his house loomed over him, threatening to break his smile. It was empty and silent when he opened the door, as he predicted, and he let himself give in to his fingers buzzing as he opened the lid of the piano and started playing, chords from a currently unnamed song Luke had brought to the band that he and Alex had worked on.

“Sometimes I think, I’m falling down…” He sang the words to himself softly, remembering the expressions on Luke and Alex’s faces as they sang it, the words finding a deeper meaning for them all. 

He was so caught up in playing, chords coming to him like memories as he played and sang softly, that he didn’t notice a presence in the doorway until a voice came.

“The hell?” His father's voice startled him, and Reggie jumped away from the piano as if it had burned him, the lid narrowly missing his fingers as he dropped it.

“Dad.”

“I thought you gave up that music shit years ago.” His father’s voice wasn’t slurring, but the way he stumbled as he stood up from leaning against the wall told Reggie enough about how drunk he was.

“I was just-”

“Don’t waste your life trying to succeed there, or you’ll end up as useless as your mother. Go do studying, make something of yourself, son.” Reggie didn’t need to be told twice, as he moved to retreat to his room with his heart in his throat, right as his mother appeared in the entrance to the kitchen, blocking his way.

“Just cause you want him to be better than you, you drunk sack of shit. He’s only useless cause he has you as a role model.” His mother hissed at his father, Reggie beginning to panic as he felt trapped between the two.

_‘And rise,’_

Reggie closed his eyes as he leaned back against the piano, Alex’s voice coming to his mind.

_‘Through the night, you and I,’_

Alex wasn’t usually the first to sing, that honour going to Luke and his mile-a-minute brain when it came to music, but earlier that afternoon he had been the one to sing the chorus of the song he and Luke had written.

_‘We will fight to shine together,’_

Alex had looked at him when he had sung earlier, eyes anxious but kind, and Reggie knew how deep the words ran for them.

_‘Bright forever.’_

It wasn’t polished enough for them to perform at the Orpheum in two weeks, but Reggie could feel the power that song would have one day. 

The power it already had to the four of them, who had found family far more important than what blood gave them. Sunset Curve was his family, he knew that, as he felt trapped and suffocating between his parents’ screaming match. His mother and father were both throwing curses and insults now, stepping dangerously closer to each other, and Reggie didn’t think twice before taking the now empty exit and all but running out to his room. His breaths were fast and shallow, as he grabbed his leather jacket from his desk and left out his window.

The walk from his backyard to the studio was easy, familiar, yet he couldn’t calm his breathing the entire time. When he reached the familiar doors, he hesitated for the first time since fleeing his house, but opened the door regardless. Luke was sitting on the couch, looking up at where Alex was up in the balcony attic of the garage, and both heads turned to him as the doors opened, easy smiles falling when they saw Reggie’s expression and flushed cheeks.

“Reg.” Alex’s voice came quickly, as Luke’s arm wrapped around the panicking boy and tried to ground him. Alex’s arms came a second later as soon as he reached them, and the three ended up kneeling on the ground curled up into each other, feeling all too much like the afternoon Reggie had told them about Alice moving out.

“It’s too much, I can’t deal with them any more.” Reggie sobbed into Luke’s neck, feeling a hand run through his hair and another squeeze him closer. “It’s always about money, or how terrible people they are, or how I’ll fail because I’m too much like one or the other.”

“Reg, you’re so much better than them,” Luke whispered, pulling back so Reggie could look at him. “You’re our best friend, the best bassist, and the nicest person I know. You’re not doomed, you’re not your parents. We’re gonna succeed, and be so much better than anyone expects.”

“Yeah?” Reggie’s voice cracked, but neither of the other boys reacted as they held him close.

“We’re the only family we’re ever gonna need, okay?” Luke spoke the words with confidence, enough that Reggie and Alex both nodded.

* * *

Reggie spent more and more time in the studio as the Orpheum performance grew closer, skipping school with Alex as they joined Luke, who had all but formally dropped out by now, rehearsing and spending nights over when he didn’t have the energy to make it home, or when his parents were too much to even think about.

And then July 22nd came, and he couldn’t stop smiling as he stood on the stage of the Orpheum, buzzing after their soundcheck, even as they made fun of the way Bobby tried to flirt with the waitress, and everything they had been working for came closer.

And then he was sitting beside two of his best friends on an old couch with a hotdog in his hand, grinning with Alex as Luke went on about the inevitable success they would find after that night.

And then he was lying in an ambulance, unimaginable pain shooting through his stomach and chest as he gripped Alex’s hand in one and Luke’s shirt in the other, trying to keep them close as he lost track of how time was passing.

And then he was hearing the choked pleading of Luke as Alex’s hand fell lax in his, letting out his own broken sob as he closed his eyes to the pain.

And then…

And then…

And then… nothing.

A black room. Alex crying and whispering questions, Luke eerily silent with wandering eyes, and Reggie’s fingers playing a melody against his leg with no school table to hide them under.

He thought he heard the beginning notes of their song, when he felt a pull against him and only had a moment to meet Luke and Alex’s eyes before they were being pulled somewhere, appearing back in their studio.

A girl, almost their age, in slippers and glasses, screaming at them.

* * *

It wasn’t hard to like Julie, despite her initial resistance to them, kindness flowing out of her.

It was easy to forget about his parents when he was focused on suddenly being a ghost, then being seen by Julie, then being able to be heard playing music, then hearing Julie play herself.

They had been returning back to the studio after a night visiting clubs and locations, trying to see what they had missed over 25 years, when Luke had heard the piano, and the three boys hid from Julie’s view as she played and sang.

Julie was born to play music, Reggie realised as he listened to her. She sat at the piano like it was shaped for her, her fingers fit to the keys as her voice carried throughout and beyond the studio. He watched with a soft smile as she finished, reading something on the sheet music and bringing it to her chest, startling as Luke stopped Alex from hugging her, but poofing out with them without a noise.

They had known Julie for less than a day, but Reggie knew all three of them were worried about her, as well as amazed at the talent she had lied about. When Julie’s dad entered, speaking to his dead wife and mentioning how she used to play the piano sat beside Julie, Reggie could feel his throat tightening up, and his chest ached to find his parents again.

Seeing his childhood home completely gone, not even a fraction of the house to mourn over, was almost enough to break him. He knew the exact frustration fueling Luke as he threw back at them why exactly they had the band over their own families, and felt at home again when Luke and Alex looked down to him and played his song - his jam - from when they were fifteen. Luke had remembered the chords that Reggie hadn’t ever written down, and harmonies came easy as they danced around a beach full of people who couldn’t see them but danced to their music anyway. Alex’s arm thrown over his shoulders grounded him, and he moved past the longing for answers about his family, as he looked at what he had now.

Later, when Alex told them that Julie hadn’t gotten back into music at her school, and Luke suggested giving her the song Sunset Curve never recorded, Reggie agreed without a second of hesitation. Alex named it ‘Bright’, and Luke grinned at them as he poofed away to find Julie, sliding the paper into his pocket.

Now, standing in the gym of Julie’s school, watching her play the piano chords to a song that all three boys held close to their hearts, Reggie smiles at her. Luke squeezes his shoulders, Alex meets his eyes with a nod, and all three poof to back Julie up.

They never expected to be seen. Heard, yes, but never seen.

Reggie knew the song. They had never performed with Julie before, but falling into habit with Alex and Luke is easier than breathing, and he can’t stop smiling when Julie turns to him while Luke sings, as she grins and dances, and he turns to faces that actually see him perform.

It’s just as easy to take Julie’s position behind the piano and watch Julie and Luke sing together as if they had known each other for more than just a few days. He sees Alex’s smile and feels a weight in his chest lift.

Music had been every bit of joy in his life, and knowing it could be his afterlife as well…

Who would he be to not take it?

**Author's Note:**

> well, i figured it was time i contributed a work to a series and fandom i love so much  
> find me on [tumblr](http://wlwillex.tumblr.com/) to see me scream about jatp amongst so many other things, and stay tuned for some more jatp fics i'm working on!  
> have a wonderful day/night xx


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